Virtual Boy Review

The Virtual Boy is the rare product where every criticism is structural rather than fixable. The display is red on black because Nintendo chose a cheap scanning array over a color panel, so every game looks like the same game, and prolonged play produces the eye strain and headaches the manual itself has to warn you about. It is not worn on the head and it is not portable either: it sits on a table on a stand and the player leans into it, which means a sore neck and no view of the room you are in.

Nintendo shipped it knowing the stereoscopic effect was the only argument, and that effect, real as it is, adds almost nothing to a game once the novelty wears off. Twenty two titles reached it worldwide before Nintendo walked away inside a year, and even its defenders name the same three: Wario Land, Teleroboxer and Jack Bros. The depth in Wario Land is used with genuine wit, which is the kindest sentence anyone can write about this machine.

It was expensive, it was uncomfortable, and it was abandoned by its own maker faster than any console before or since. As an experiment it earns a measure of respect. As a product it fails on every axis that counts.